10 Things You Don't Say Out Loud But You’re Thinking Anyway

1. Why is everyone getting engaged and getting their lives together? When a “good day” for you covers not falling over/wearing your lunch/having an embarrassing incident that compromises entire social existence.

 2. Does anyone even like green smoothies? Why am I paying £5 for this solid mesh of green? Can I have an Oreo Krushem instead??

3. Your pet is nicer than most people you come across.

4. Pyjamas and new sheets excite you more than is probably normal.

5. Is it acceptable to eat my lunch at 11am?

6. Edgy club nights with DJ sets aren’t really all that fun, if there is no lyrics how are you meant to pretend that you’re in a girlband and mime/shriek the place down?

 7. Your musical library is becoming more like a teenage girl the older you get. One Direction, you bet cha, Justin Bieber, okay, Taylor Swift, great give me more.

 8. I don’t want to see your abs, especially not in amaro. *Cries into double chin*

9.  Smashing your iphone is more painful than most break-ups you’ve been through. The £70 bill isn’t all that great either.

10. It’s kind of a crime that KFC isn’t open past 11pm. Yeah.